This past weekend the world of those in Nashville and surrounding areas has been crushed. We saw horrible rains, a few tornadoes and rising waters. As of now 16 have died. The beautiful Opryland Hotel has 10 feet of water inside of it. Downtown Nashville now has the Cumberland River all the way up to 2nd avenue and underground in the arena. The Titans stadium is soaked. Many of my friends and church family have lost their homes, the water literally swallowing them. Cars are gone or filled with water. Many mobile homes were floating down the highway. Devastation.
I am lucky. I live on a hill and away from the rivers so my place is fine, dry, and my safety was not compromised. Two songs have come to mind during this time. The first is Mikeschair “Let the Waters Rise”:
There’s a raging sea
Right in front of me
Wants to pull me in
Bring me to my knees
So let the waters rise
If You want them to
I will follow You
I will swim in the deep
‘Cuz You’ll be next to me
You’re in the eye of the storm
And the calm of the sea
You’ll never out of reach
The 2nd song is the Chris Tomlin song “God of This City” because truly that’s all we have left here:
You’re the God of this City
You’re the King of these people
You’re the Lord of this nation
You’re the Light in this darkness
You’re the Hope to the hopeless
You’re the Peace to the restless
There is no one like our God
There is no one like our God
For greater things have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Greater thing have yet to come
And greater things are still to be done in this City
Many people here don’t have flood insurance- those both in homes and businesses. We really need the help of the country to rebuild. The church I attend, Cross Point, has set up a flood relief fund. This fund is to help EVERYONE, not just members of the church or even those that consider themselves Christian. I was overjoyed to hear Cross Point was leading the relief efforts in Bellvue- on the website, on the radio and on tv. I love being part of a church that just goes and doesn’t just think about it. If you want to give, I know everyone would be grateful. The website is www.crosspoint.tv and you will see a link for Flood Relief. If nothing else, keep Nashville in your prayers!
To see pictures here are the news links:
I don’t make New Years resolutions because I know I will break them. But I am willing to try a challenge that only lasts one month! The church I attend here in Nashville, Cross Point, started a 31 Day Challenge at the beginning of January. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs and so the challenge is to read one chapter a day for the month of January. I must admit I was late in the challenge and I may not read every day, but I make sure to catch up when I miss a day!
What a perfect book to start off the new year- cautioning me against things that will hurt me and push me away from God but also giving me the tools to fight temptations. It really is interesting and I am learning so much from it. Cross Point has set up a blog where one of the pastors writes about the chapter each day and people can post their comments. Keeps you engaged and somewhat accountable. The site is here if anyone is interested: http://31days.crosspoint.tv/
I am starting my new year with a strong foundation for how I want the year to progress! I love the idea and so glad Cross Point has helped in the understanding along the way.
In other news, my new job is going great! We were off today because of the potential and then actual 1 inch of snow. Got to love the south! Can’t wait to be done with training and get my kiddos to start working with! Hope everyone is staying warm and safe in their homes!
Not everyone you are blood-related to is your family and not everyone that is your family is blood-related. I have two relatives in particular who I tried to build a relationship with but it was always a one-way deal so I gave up. I share no memories with them, share no deep conversations- everything is just on the surface. Now I have 1.5 weeks for Christmas vacation. I want to first spend it with my mom,dad and brother. Next I want to spend it with the people I consider family- who have invested time and their lives in my and vice versa. Those people are in no way related to me. I am past the point where I feel obligated to visit blood-family because they are just related to me. I really wish some people understood that.
If I could travel anywhere to visit family I would be heading to Ohio, but I can not afford it right now. My grandma has impacted my life so much. I have even wrote about her in all of my graduate application statements. I hope she always knows how much I love her and look up to her.
This post really had no point but for me to vent. I’m sick of feeling obligated/guilty to see people I literally see once a year and share nothing with except for partial dna. It’s a waste of the time I have in this world.
I’ve been following the Owen Family and baby Gavin on their blog http://www.gavinowens.com/ for a while. Gavin went to heaven November 8, 2009. I cried. I have never met Gavin. I can’t imagine having a child you know will die and living every day knowing it could be your last with him for over 3 years. And the insight his family has and their spiritual view is amazing. I think it touched me too because of what my friend Meghan http://angelaverysmommy.blogspot.com/ went through with Avery. It just all breaks my heart.
I was thinking about all of this today at work and realized that at my new job I may be working with kids who break my heart. There will be some kids like Gavin. They will be literally fighting for their lives as I try to help them get ahead developmentally.
Then I went to go get a new battery for my car (yes I have a point). Anyways, the guy at AutoZone who put my battery in was talking to me about what I do. He asked me how working with developmentally disabled kids doesn’t make me sad and miserable. I replied that it’s the hope and the progress. But the truth is sometimes it does break my heart and make me sad. I dealt with that in my job in NC. I went home a few times and CRIED because one of the kid’s lives wasn’t going the “right” way.
The truth is it’s going to be hard at times. But God gave me a gift that I’m not going to not use because it’s hard. I won’t distance myself from these kids, I won’t not invest. I get too invested, I taking things personally, I love each kid. That’s just me. I just have to keep remembering that God wants me to help people and change lives, not sit in an office checking numbers and doing work that doesn’t use my gift.
Life has been crazy busy, but just wanted to post an update. I have a 2nd interview at a non-profit here in Nashville tomorrow. I’ve stopped worrying about jobs because I know God will provide. Worrying is not going to help anything.
Yesterday I cleaned the entire living room and kitchen top to bottom. Then I decorated the mantle for the holidays. I’m not going home for Thanksgiving, and although it will be hard not seeing my family, it made the most sense. Hopefully I will get to use the time to visit with friends here in Nashville and hopefully volunteer somewhere.
I LOVE babies and toddlers. I don’t know what it is, but that feeling you get when a baby is cuddling or falling asleep on you is ridiculous. If it wasn’t for the financial implications and the not having a husband thing I would totally have one! I’ve been dubbed the “baby person” everywhere because I’m the one who gets babies to stop crying and fall asleep. Hopefully my next job will involve more interaction with kids because I definitely miss it!
I think that’s all for now. Just keeping my spirits up and trying not to freak out that it is almost DECEMBER! AHH!
Today I was officially told my job ends Dec 31. So right now I am looking for a job and applying for graduate school all at the same time. This is the 2nd time I’ve been in this situation. I have admit, during this season of my life I feel very lost. Lost, anxious, on edge, etc. I usually feel anxious and uneasy in crowds, but I can usually control it. Tonight that wasn’t the case- I lasted about an hour and then started having my asthma act up. I had to get some air.
I think that’s how I feel in general right now- like I’m suffocating and lost and don’t know where the open window is. I know things will get better, but right now I’m lost. Hoping I find my way quickly!
My Grandma is incredible. She is the only grandma I have ever had and currently my only grandparent left. Her name is Laura Plona and she turned 90 last month. I wish I could spend every minute of every day listening to her wisdom. Humorously I taught 2nd graders about wisdom and who they get it from today and I thought of her. She has the most amazing stories- she had 5 girls, one with Downs Syndrome, and lived through the Great Depression and World War II. She doesn’t let anyone tell her no and does whatever she needs to do to accomplish what she wants (I guess I get that from her!).
The reason I wanted to blog about her is she was just admitted to the ICU. She has Congestive Heart Failure. Grandma has always been pretty healthy and resilient, but lately she had been feeling tired, having no appetite and somewhat sick to her stomach. My aunt called 911 because she was unable to walk herself to the car.
I’m worried. I’m not stupid, I know she’s 90, but I want her to live 300 more years. I can’t imagine life without her. Please say a prayer for her and our family. Whatever the outcome, I hope grandma is comfortable and knows she is surrounded by love. Thanks!
Grandma and Me the last month at Denny's